Ramblings of a SQL Hillbilly

Or, the mad ravings of a data warehouse forklift operator

How to Become a Member in Bad Standing of PASS

As is wont to happen, an interesting but tongue-in-cheek question was asked earlier today on Twitter:

Curiosity: are there members of #sqlpass who are not in good standing? What would you have to do to lose your status of good standing?

As usual, the peanut gallery jumped in:

@sqlslacker @mvelic Putting more than ten triggers in production, maybe.

@BrentO @sqlslacker Continually talking about Postgres and Hadoop…

@mvelic @BrentO I think recommending RBAR processing should result in a one year ban. But I’m crazy.

@BrentO @sqlslacker Turning on autoshrink.

@jdanton @BrentO @sqlslacker Advertising on the SQLHelp hashtag.

Here’s a few more I think should be grounds for having your PASS membership stripped:

  • Using the SSIS Update OLE DB Destination for processing millions of rows
  • Using WITH NOLOCK in DML statements other than SELECT or READTEXT
  • Not using a where clause in a Stored Procedure
  • Asking for or using a braindump
  • Asking for people to do your homework for you on SQLServerCentral
  • Writing your app to use the SA account
  • Using “ask” as a noun
  • Depending on autogrow for tempdb
  • Using cursors for set-based operations
  • Using SELECT * in Production code
  • Using RTRIM() when the source and target columns are CHAR fields of equal length
  • Using a ridiculous title like Senior Emirate of DBA Experience Engineering
  • And, of course, not reading my blog.